Maybe I love you

I was looking at you and you grew up
I was speaking to you and you were sleeping
I loved you and you hided from me

Maybe I did prefer you in this way
before I got you close to me
and felt that you were really far away from me

Perhaps I would like to talk with you
to feel what you listen
and feel the echo of my empty voice

Possibly I do love you
simply, without more, do love you
knowing what you feel
knowing that you are really lying me

That eventhough your silents
eventhough your absence
of your remote shelters
of your indifference...
perhaps I still want that you come back

Maybe in my sadness
you reply with happiness
that with my reproaches
you reply with silence

Possibly, I don't know
I want to sleep close to your body
without that you feel mine
kiss your cold lips
take you rigid hand

I want... it is not possible
want to love you, still love you,
because someone like you
made of you what you are now

Is there a life before death?

At some point, many years ago, I got lost. I lost prespective, logic, sense and motivation.

I don't remember any especial thing that leaded me to this point. I haven't lived any experience traumatic enough to finish where I am. Simply, happened...

At some point, I began to make me questions. Questions without answers. Questions without any sense.

Has sense to live if finally we all going to die? From a romantic and idealistic, poetic included, point of view there would be thousands of answers, I know that! But from a practical point of view... Has any sense to build something which destiny is to disappear? What is the sense of the survival sense?

At some point I surrended. I ran out of ambicions, the capacity of dreaming, the will to live fast, the faith, the unconformism, be thirsty of answers, nihilism, combative spirit, ideals, projects, curiosity.... All that I had been acumulated during my youth and that now was the food to my soul. Does really exist the soul?

Today, many people tell me that this is the natural process of when one grows up. That this happens to everybody and that is simply normal. That life, the years, the past of time makes you grow up. And me, that since some years ago I don't find any sense to anything, I ask: Grow up? for what? What is the sense of this? After asking this many times, I have only found one answer. Growing up is to figure out that the death is every day closer.

I remember a sentence of the book Where the heart leads you: "If life has a sense-will tell you the voice- the sense is the death, all the other things just spin arround her. What a discover, that must die everyody knows. It is true, with our brain all we know that, but to know it with our mind it a totally different thing that to know it with our heart."

At some point, I don't remember when, I know with the heart that the meaning of life is the death.

And that day I began to die.

Little Martina

Oh, where little Martina?
Over yonder she stands. 
Rifle on her shoulder, 
Six-shooter in her hand. 

How can I ever stand it,
Just to see them two blue eyes,
Shinin' like some diamonds,
Like some diamonds in the sky. 

Well, it's march me away to the station
With my suitcase in my hand. 
Yes, march me away to the station,
I'm off to some far-distant land.  

Sometimes I have a nickel,
And sometimes I have a dime.
Sometimes I have ten dollars,
Just to pay for little Martina's milk. 

Pretty flowers are made for blooming,
Pretty stars are made to shine. 
Pretty girls are made for boy's love,
Little Martina was made for us.  

I had a dream

Tonight I dreamed with you,
Don't be afraid,
was a sweet dream,
nothing similar to the past nightmares.

Tonight I dreamed that I didn't love you anymore,
that I saw far away and I didn't want to see you nearby,
but you were coming closer,
and you gave me one of your sad smiles,
and one of your slow caress over my arm.
But I didn't feel anything.

You looked at me,
with your sweet and melancoly view
that have your eyes,
but I didn't see my eyes reflected on yours anymore,
you were not my mirror anymore.

No edge, no danger, no concience,
no desire, no shelter.

Today I dreamed on you,
I dreamed that you left me crying
when I told you that I didn't love you anymore,
that I didn't want neither your caress
nor your smiles nor your views nor your hugs.
That I didn't miss you anymore
and that I didn't want to be close to you.

That you only understand love with suffer,
and I didn't want to suffer with you,
that in your world of fears
you are holding to loneliness,
though you heart is crying to go out from darkness.
In my dream I told that I don't have more fears,
that I don't want loneliness,
that simply I don't want.

Look what strange I am,
what a things I dream,
and you left me crying....

You are only happy in the sun.

I know you may not want to see me
On your way down from the clouds
Would you hear me if I told you
That my heart is with you now

Did you find what you were after?
The pain and the laughter brought you to your knees
But if the sun sets you free,
You'll be free indeed, Indeed

Every time I hear you laughing,
It makes me cry
Like the story of life, of your life
Is hello, goodbye

you are only happy in the sun

hvem der bare ku'klare sig med hjælp fra sig selv?

Don't trust me when I swear "Impossible"
Don't be sure of my doubts
"never ever" sometimes means "maybe"
Don't run if I tell you "go to hell"

Dead is like a hurted lover
that play hard and doesn't want to lose
sometimes the busy lips
becomes lazy after two kisses
sometimes my heart holds to lost causes
but know that be without you
is like living on the street


Look, I'm just trying to tell you
that the waitting is driving me crazy
but that I will not try to look for you
because there will be the risk of find you out
but know that I'm still owing you some love words.

Deep blue silence

What can I say to you, my dear, that I haven't said yet?
What can I tell you to convince you that my love is real?
What must I do to prove my inconditional surrender?
What should I write to show you how much I need you?
What should I sign to be sure that I will follow you wherever you ask me?

I will look at your heary face and with a long silence I will prove that all I said is true.

If today was not an endless highway,
If tonight was not a crooked trail,
If tomorrow wasn't such a long time,
Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

I can't see my reflection in the waters,
I can't speak the sounds that show no pain,
I can't hear the echo of my footsteps,
Or can't remember the sound of my own name.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

There's beauty in the silver, singin' river,
There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky,
But none of these and nothing else can touch the beauty
That I remember in my true love's eyes.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.