She has flown away

She has green eyes
and a sun in her front
flowers grew where she steped
she was the queen of the place
she liked to fly she liked to play
there's long time ago since she flown away from me
without say goodbye
but she does not say anything else
because there is nothing else she could say
she took my colour paintures
and she left me alone in this strange world
and this hurts....

I will not throw it away... this time

I once held her in my arms,
She said she would always stay.
But I was cruel,
I treated her like a fool,
I threw it all away.

Once I had mountains in the palm of my hand,
And rivers that ran through ev'ry day.
I must have been mad,
I never knew what I had,
Until I threw it all away.

Love is all there is, it makes the world go 'round,
Love and only love, it can't be denied.
No matter what you think about it
You just won't be able to do without it.
Take a tip from one who's tried.

So if you find someone that gives you all of her love,
Take it to your heart, don't let it stray,
For one thing that's certain,
You will surely be a-hurtin',
If you throw it all away.

Maybe I love you

I was looking at you and you grew up
I was speaking to you and you were sleeping
I loved you and you hided from me

Maybe I did prefer you in this way
before I got you close to me
and felt that you were really far away from me

Perhaps I would like to talk with you
to feel what you listen
and feel the echo of my empty voice

Possibly I do love you
simply, without more, do love you
knowing what you feel
knowing that you are really lying me

That eventhough your silents
eventhough your absence
of your remote shelters
of your indifference...
perhaps I still want that you come back

Maybe in my sadness
you reply with happiness
that with my reproaches
you reply with silence

Possibly, I don't know
I want to sleep close to your body
without that you feel mine
kiss your cold lips
take you rigid hand

I want... it is not possible
want to love you, still love you,
because someone like you
made of you what you are now

Is there a life before death?

At some point, many years ago, I got lost. I lost prespective, logic, sense and motivation.

I don't remember any especial thing that leaded me to this point. I haven't lived any experience traumatic enough to finish where I am. Simply, happened...

At some point, I began to make me questions. Questions without answers. Questions without any sense.

Has sense to live if finally we all going to die? From a romantic and idealistic, poetic included, point of view there would be thousands of answers, I know that! But from a practical point of view... Has any sense to build something which destiny is to disappear? What is the sense of the survival sense?

At some point I surrended. I ran out of ambicions, the capacity of dreaming, the will to live fast, the faith, the unconformism, be thirsty of answers, nihilism, combative spirit, ideals, projects, curiosity.... All that I had been acumulated during my youth and that now was the food to my soul. Does really exist the soul?

Today, many people tell me that this is the natural process of when one grows up. That this happens to everybody and that is simply normal. That life, the years, the past of time makes you grow up. And me, that since some years ago I don't find any sense to anything, I ask: Grow up? for what? What is the sense of this? After asking this many times, I have only found one answer. Growing up is to figure out that the death is every day closer.

I remember a sentence of the book Where the heart leads you: "If life has a sense-will tell you the voice- the sense is the death, all the other things just spin arround her. What a discover, that must die everyody knows. It is true, with our brain all we know that, but to know it with our mind it a totally different thing that to know it with our heart."

At some point, I don't remember when, I know with the heart that the meaning of life is the death.

And that day I began to die.

Little Martina

Oh, where little Martina?
Over yonder she stands. 
Rifle on her shoulder, 
Six-shooter in her hand. 

How can I ever stand it,
Just to see them two blue eyes,
Shinin' like some diamonds,
Like some diamonds in the sky. 

Well, it's march me away to the station
With my suitcase in my hand. 
Yes, march me away to the station,
I'm off to some far-distant land.  

Sometimes I have a nickel,
And sometimes I have a dime.
Sometimes I have ten dollars,
Just to pay for little Martina's milk. 

Pretty flowers are made for blooming,
Pretty stars are made to shine. 
Pretty girls are made for boy's love,
Little Martina was made for us.  

I had a dream

Tonight I dreamed with you,
Don't be afraid,
was a sweet dream,
nothing similar to the past nightmares.

Tonight I dreamed that I didn't love you anymore,
that I saw far away and I didn't want to see you nearby,
but you were coming closer,
and you gave me one of your sad smiles,
and one of your slow caress over my arm.
But I didn't feel anything.

You looked at me,
with your sweet and melancoly view
that have your eyes,
but I didn't see my eyes reflected on yours anymore,
you were not my mirror anymore.

No edge, no danger, no concience,
no desire, no shelter.

Today I dreamed on you,
I dreamed that you left me crying
when I told you that I didn't love you anymore,
that I didn't want neither your caress
nor your smiles nor your views nor your hugs.
That I didn't miss you anymore
and that I didn't want to be close to you.

That you only understand love with suffer,
and I didn't want to suffer with you,
that in your world of fears
you are holding to loneliness,
though you heart is crying to go out from darkness.
In my dream I told that I don't have more fears,
that I don't want loneliness,
that simply I don't want.

Look what strange I am,
what a things I dream,
and you left me crying....

You are only happy in the sun.

I know you may not want to see me
On your way down from the clouds
Would you hear me if I told you
That my heart is with you now

Did you find what you were after?
The pain and the laughter brought you to your knees
But if the sun sets you free,
You'll be free indeed, Indeed

Every time I hear you laughing,
It makes me cry
Like the story of life, of your life
Is hello, goodbye

you are only happy in the sun